In Loco Parentis

IN LOCO PARENTIS

I was born with a long 

term plan for the road 

to the sea and then it went to the rain again 

I am leaving to see my 

*

wow you’re so resilient I mean you know what

you want and you know what 

you want and you

know how to make you happy

*

wind seething, sliding leaves

along paved path teething

what?

*

to the road to the rain it went

down the night again I am nothing to say

and then I was just like a little dog and I didn’t 

want you that way

*

I was born in a long flight over the sea ​​and 

then rained back

            hapless pavement

I am to see my mother now

*

people like you     you know what is happening— 
you know what you want and what you want and you know— 

how to make you happy?

*

little armadillo     lullaby

guarded tongue

learned no     body likes to know

what really happened

*

I was born to be 

here for the last flighting

night of a joy— 

I am leaving now to see if you’ll halve me

*

I was born in the sea for a while
be wet said the happy teething     song 

            said I could look like her

*

oh— 

a thicket
you must feel 

the way it touches you

is lonely

*

I wanted you to notice 

the way I’d changed, the way I’d, how I didn’t turn 

my head

when you spoke

the corner of me

            still leafing 

*

a little seethe

never hurt no        leaves blown back from tomorrow

*

and then I was just telling her about what it would be

like to be

in the same place as I

am turning

into this version of her, this morning 

            no more nights splattered indigo wanting— 

so I’ll let go of a little something more difficult than 

you

            said let’s celebrate

stars still cuddling my memory

like fattened ticks I tweeze

*

I woke in the sea no one

was coming

it felt like a migraine I mean

            migration

I mean

I kissed the thought of you

*

like oh honey

milk-thicket 

ticking

I felt you move 

tongue-kick against the roof of

*

and you don’t want and you know what

I don’t want

to remember this 

either or

I am not remembering at all

*

to the sea to the sea you said that night we could flight the road

teasing my tall, my tips-of-toes

the stars were suffering

us a little happiness 

*

I was born in a long wind

a drawer half-

open to nothing

*

washing myself

on the road to the sea

this was always the plan

I was always

longing to see my mother chasing 

her shadow through the

shadows

*

you took off your

leaves whooshed through me

little starlit

paradigms

*

went to the mouth of the sea 

no plan no

body met me there

I danced with my

self on the sandspit 

daring the waves to 

*

all this sea muck, all this

            milk-thistle, thick stars

            wet dog lapping at the corner of the 

            sky I woke singing

in the morning and you’re so       you really know

how to leave you really know

how to leave me in limb

o—I still feel your 

*

dream of me